Here’s an idea….. Lets change the subject

Do me a favour get a pen and piece of paper, got it? Ok now look at the picture above…. I mean really look at it.

No this is not some trick it has a purpose, so now I would like you to write down what you see, really take it in, what is it? What does it mean to you? Now if you will excuse me there is a jar of heaven… I mean taffy calling I will be right back.

Ok so what did I miss…. oh yes writing what you see, if my calculations are right which they might not be (I’m a writer not a mathematician), but did you write about that black dot? what about that white area? Didn’t write about it huh…. don’t feel bad the first time I did this exercise I didn’t either.

You see I focused so hard on that black dot, filled with negativity, coldness, heaviness and all consuming. The colour washed over me and the thoughts that followed took that tone.

However, there is another part to that picture, yip the white part…. white a sign of purity, simplicity, opportunity and reflection. Let that settle in for a minute, it is like most things in life we see the bad and never notice the good and there is where most of our energy is focused

But what if we could change that?

Ask yourself would you say the following to a loved one or better yet a child?

You look awful

You’re not enough

You can’t do it

No? I had hoped not if the answer was yes yikes…. Now ask yourself why are you having these daily dialogues with yourself? Why not try to change it, I know it’s not easy, but it is the start of the journey. Believe me I know how hard this is, to be honest if negative self-talk was an Olympic sport, I’d get the gold, but I am still on the road and wanted some company.  The best explanation I’ve ever heard of this is

“we all have two wolves; both are hungry we just have to chose which one to feed and work a little harder at it”

Matthew McConaughey

If you are interested in this a little more I highly recommend reading the Two Wolves story, which was introduced to me by one of my amazing blog followers.

So now let’s try a little self-love or positive self-talk, take yourself a toddle to a mirror I can wait for you but when you get there look at yourself in there…. give yourself a wave, now close your eyes and say something positive to yourself for example

“It’s ok. No matter what happens, I can handle it”

Now open your eyes repeat it a little louder, louder. LOUDER… phew I feel better now, practice this morning and night, during the bad times and the good times. Most important with each vocalisation take a note of the look in your eyes and the changes in your facial expression….. smiling yet? good

Remember we become what we believe

“people who believe that they can and people who believe they can’t are usually right”

One of my methods of trying to tackle this has been a thought journal where I write down the negative, look for a way to change it, and get rid of the thought. There are a million resources out there when you feel ready to start this journey but let me leave you with this message

YOU ARE STRONG

YOU ARE ENOUGH

YOU ARE IN CONTROL

YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO.

Now toddle back to that mirror and tell yourself these things over and over again watch how your whole perception changes, but I hope this kind of lingers with you a little today so when you work colleagues get in your face and you feel like giving up, or you have an argument with a loved one or someone tries to put you down….. replay this in your head or let Pooh bear tumble in there with his words, he is much better at than I (I better go write that thought down)