#selflove – The many adventures of Ailey Bailey

The power of dreams

Posted on February 17, 2020February 17, 2020 by Aileen O'Hara

Now dear readers don’t go thinking that I am talking about those wonderful images that dance through your mind while you sleep where you don’t want to wake in the morning or those ones that terrify us so much that all we want to is wake ourselves up. No what I am talking about is those dreams that we have for ourselves, those hopes and aspirations…. Those dear readers are the most powerful of all.

It has become a bit of a bee in my bonnet lately, words are the most powerful tool we have. Seriously think about it for a minute…. You can literally say something, and it can make someone’s day or ruin it, words stick to us for a long time and they can manifest in a person’s mind long after they are said and with the power to do the most damage. It seems that it is more likely that we will say what we think with little thought for how it might affect someone and why are we putting pressure on people to live or do things a certain way? Why do we poke fun and make people the butt of our jokes? Am I being too selfish with my dream? Am I being unrealistic in what I had hoped for?

Here is the thing I believe in the power of the dream, it is what drives us, empowers us and well just fills us with hope…. So maybe it is a little selfish but that is ok and hey other people are entitled to their opinions, but they should learn to keep it to themselves. Would I have made it this far without those dream… probably not.

Growing up for as long as I can remember was I dreamed of was moving to some far off land, being a wife and having kids, I also remember being laughed at in school for those hopes and dreams because well “its not a real job” (try telling that to any parent on the planet) As I got older my dreams didn’t change but expanded I wanted to help people and here we are today. I still have those -Lets call them hopes not dreams- only now I see things a little different I will help people through my business, and I have the absolute pleasure of being a mum to the kindest, thoughtful and just awesome kids ever. My son is set to be a football star with writing skills that will far surpass my own and a daughter who is nothing like I dreamed because she is far superior to that, seriously she makes me beam with pride. I still dream of the fairy tale ending after all these years but now it gets to with my best friend, my biggest supporter and side kick, and while it might be a big expense to some people followed by a party to me it will be a complete expression of love for that person and a celebration for what we built together… and I sit at my laptop with tears of absolute joy in my eyes at the very thought of that hope and I challenge anyone to tell me any different because who are they to tell me not to live for that dream or to change it to fit their needs and expectations.

I guess what I am trying to encourage you to think about is this… life is too short and fragile to care what other people believe our only true limit is ourselves, if there is something out in the world that you want then you reach for it, no matter how long it takes keep reaching, wake up each day with the thought of today I fight back and the universe is sure to open those doors for you. Go on try it I believe in you.

I don’t know what is in the future, but I can’t wait for it.

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I need your help…..

Posted on January 14, 2020January 14, 2020 by Aileen O'Hara

Good morning blog fans

I know it’s been such a long time frankly I’m a little disappointed in myself for that (sorry for the self negative talk) so here is the thing I have been a little distracted trying to start a business 😮. I know I’ve got all the emotions….

So in November I took a life coaching course which was amazing and really opened my eyes but I decided to wait until the new year and well here we are planning and organising everything to get stuck into a world of helping people.

So how can you help? I here you ask….

Alright let me get to it, so I’ve been doing some research and sadly what I discovered is that in my local area there is little support for mental health. Something I am looking to change, along side my business I would like to give back to my community and provide a sort of support group, hopefully offering ways to improve mental health or ways to support someone with mental health. Where I need help is if you were looking to attend something like that what would draw you to it?

What could I maybe put in place that would make you think you know what I’m going to go tonight?

The aim is to get people talking about mental health and support each other or find the support they need.

I know you guys are from all over the world but that’s the beauty of this platform it’s a chance to embrace another culture 😊. Also you dont need to have bad mental health to come along.

Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated and as always thanks for the support 😊

Speak soon Aileyb

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I can’t……

Posted on October 21, 2019October 21, 2019 by Aileen O'Hara

It’s that time again dear readers, yip you guessed more ramblings of an overthinking mind. I will be honest this is something that I say often even when I don’t want to, its that old being hard on myself trick that I have perfected over the years but imagine if for once that changed…. What if the imagination took over. I find that people will look at my sketches and follow a compliment up with a criticism of themselves “I can’t draw”

STOP…. of course, you can since the age you first picked up a pencil you have been able to draw and even now as an “adult” you can still draw your imagination has just gotten a little filled with other things…. you don’t believe me? Ok let’s try a little something to wake up the imagination and prove that you can in fact draw…. get yourself a piece of paper and a pencil now I would like you to think about a dog, really think about it what colour is it? How big is it? Does it have floppy ears? You get the idea now draw it.

Wow that is amazing…… here is the point and a fun fact probably no one has drawn that exact dog in that way because our little…. sorry big imaginations all work very different. Do you think Picasso looked at his work and said I can’t draw? Of course, he didn’t…. so why are you? This may come as a surprise to you but we are all so wonderfully unique that no one could draw like him, they may come close but it wouldn’t be anything like it and that is the beauty of the mind.

Don’t get me wrong I say it often out of fear and then anxiety takes over and before you know it, I’ve talked myself out of doing something and I’m an over thinker, so I ponder it. Then I think of my kids who will use these words a million times a day and usually when I’ve asked them to pick up something or tidy…. but I would hate to think that they walked around thinking that they couldn’t do something because they fear it or its difficult. My son for example is a budding artist but “I can’t draw like that… how is that possible?” and my response “yet…. you can’t draw like that yet” and so I would say the same to you all use the power of yet watch how it changes your whole outlook. A change of mindset might just be the key to unlocking your potential, here are some examples to try….

I don’t understand this………………………………………. what am I missing?

This is too hard………………………………………………. This may take some time.

I can’t do this………………………………………. I’m going to work on this until I can.

Practice…. No athlete in the world was born with the ability to do something they practiced, they visualised, and they worked consistently…. Dream big, do what you feel passionate about stop letting other people tell you what you can’t do… you can but without that consistency you will never finish.

“failure is a sign that you are trying”

So don’t be afraid to fail, look at your blue print of your life that you have created for yourself are you were you thought you would be alter it if you need to but ask yourself are you reaching that potential, are you happy with it? If there is something in there you are not then work on changing it, find that new dream and set goals to reaching it…… remember dreams without goals are just that……. dreams.

Every Sunday I sit at my laptop and madly hit the letters on the keyboard and pray my ramblings make a little sense to someone, I sit late at night too with a little panic because I’m trying to create that consistency waging an internal war with myself “I can’t write” and a few months ago I would have closed the laptop and given up resigned to the mindset. I believe I can write…. just not well but there is a little voice in there somewhere kind of muffled like it’s trapped in a wardrobe…. Possibly Narnia (maybe it’s Liam Neeson as Aslan, just hopefully not the voice from Taken) anyway its there and it says

“Every failed experiment is a step closer to success”

So I wake up every Monday at crazy o’clock, I switch on the laptop followed by the kettle and once I have the perfect brew in my cup I sit down to edit and then filled with dread that it is awful I post it. I keep coming back, out of passion or maybe I’ve listened to the wrong people and thoughts for far too long and I long for that freedom of being just me…. and with time who knows I may start believing in myself, because I should and should all of you dear readers.

Think of it this way, does the sun stay in bed because no one can look at it they do the moon…. no, it rises each day filled with the same warmth and bringing with it the potential for anyone brave enough to Carpe diem. On the other side of that coin does the moon not rise because it can’t compete with the sun of course not because with the moon comes the self-reflection of those fails, plans and the dreams. Both are equally beautiful, and so are you.

The truth is each and everyone of us has the power and drive to do things for ourselves…. still don’t believe me? No? well dear readers your still with me reading this with your morning brew or on your morning commute or dare I say it in your bathroom. I know it doesn’t seem like much but STOP……. Stop selling yourself short with things that little thing of reading a silly little blog is an ember…. an ember to the start of a fire, just think if you have the drive to read something when others would have passed it by think what else you could do.

“you’ve got to dream big and fail big”