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Nereida

The war ended long ago, and a new power had risen, King Ryker the rich as he had become known. The shift in the world of men had seen the fay folk withdraw, a land which was once plentiful and full of trade now done only in secret. King Exos had been killed and his bloodline decimated, tales of what happened to those aided them spread throughout the lands.  A seer had come to the king giving him a warning that a group of strong and magical beings would destroy him, the seer never left the castle and so the king turned his attention to the magical beings throughout the land with the decree stating that they were to be destroyed.

One village by the river on the out skirts of an elven city, took the risk depending on the elves skills in medicine and craft to survive. One man by the name of Silvius often wondered into the woodland realm, the elven children loved the wizard magic. As the years passed, he soon won the heart of the lady of these woods, Lady Melina. A tall slender woman with hair the colour of browning Autumn leaves and eyes as green as emeralds. As their love for each other grew, Melina knew that her people would never accept a man as their lord and yet…

Silvius lay awake, the early morning sun breaking through the curtain, he looked at his beloved Melina asleep dressed all in white, her hair like fire from the suns warming glow a small smile curled in the corner of her soft pinkish lips as she lay dreaming. His hand brushed her shoulder running down her arm to find a mass of curly hazel hair all tangled of their daughter Nereida. The child lay with her leg over her mother and her little hand twisted in her mother’s hair, Silvius laughed as he often did, at the sight of his daughter sound asleep between them.

Nereida was both elven and human, she had the curiosity of humans and the wisdom of the elves, but it came at a cost for she would never be accepted by either of her heritage and no one understood her. With the way the world had turned Melina had feared that to keep her daughter within the city would cause her to be hunted by the kings men and their hounds, an evil she couldn’t protect her daughter from, she made the heart breaking decision to leave her in the care of her father in the little river village. Melina was however a doting mother and could not bare to be without Nereida, and so every day she would take her into the woods to teach her the ways of the elves. Her daughter had a natural flare for magics and clearly understood nature well. While she could not draw or play music, she could certainly take in its beauty and enjoy it, Silvius made sure his daughter understood and had the skills needed to survive in the world teaching her to fish and hunt, use her hands but most of all expand her knowledge of magic. The family would live in peace and joy but all things in this land Ryker would see it gone.

The years passed slowly for the elves, but Nereida it was quick and as time would have it, she neared her 20th year and unlike her peers it showed.  Her father was gone now along with the river village and its people, Ryker’s hounds and men had seen to that, the morning of the attack Melina had taken her daughter to the woods like she always did upon returning Nereida had seen something that still haunts her dreams to this day. Her mother had been so consumed by grief that she walked into the river and if it had not been for her daughters screams, she too would have met a terrible fate. The lady took her daughter to the city to be raised among the elves, they took pity on the girl but still did not accept her, causing her to return to the ruined village for comfort.  Nereida could find no peace and yearned for more, there was nothing in the elven lore which could quench her thirst and more time on her own gave her the chance to practice her magic, she longed for peace to no longer having to hide and the suffering of the world to be over.

Melina found her daughter in the village now alive with critters of the fey, tonight was different she handed her daughter a large package wrapped in leaves.

“take this my child…. Someday your greatness will outshine those stars. I see you on a great adventure, but you should seek out the help of a dragonbourne with scales as white as the fallen snow”

She cupped her daughters face in her long fingers gently kissing her forehead and wished her goodnight.  Melina withdrew into the trees and as she gazed upon her daughter, she knew in her heart that it was for the last time. Nereida settled herself and opened the package, inside lay enough provisions to last a week, jumping to her feet she began walking the whole time an internal argument of all the reasons she shouldn’t go coupled with all the reasons she could. It was then she realised that she had walked all the way to the border that for years her father had warned her never to cross…. A sudden rush filled her body as she took that step into the unknown, the guilt supressed by the building excitement she now felt.

Three days of walking would bring her to the sea and its menacing cliffs leering over her, she had to choose to go back or climb. Filled with determination she began her accent, but the weather grew unkind and a great storm set in fast. Her mind raced, filled with the horror stories of the villagers who told of trolls in the cliffs praying on the weak. Crashing waves, cracking lightening, and pounding rain, Nereida hands frozen and slippery from the rain. Great boulders began to fall, and fear of trolls consumed her, panic took its deathly grip on her heart as she scanned the darkness for help. a light or was it?… there it was again she crawled pulling herself in the direction as more boulders fell a burst of strength saw her dart into the mouth of a cave. She lay there, the hammering noise of the rain echoing around her as it bounced off the walls, she panted glancing up to see little lamp like eyes staring at her, but the bats didn’t seem to mind her presence.

Nereida found her feet soon enough and sneaked deeper into the cave, finding nothing but a glowing blue pool at its heart. Picking up a piece of drift wood she willed the end to light with fire, then she huddled around it for warmth as the tiredness set in and the thoughts of giving up filled her head.

“you have only just begun”

A male voice filled the cavern, Nereida filled with panic scanned around holding her torch up to help but there was nothing to be found. Uneasy she sat down, the pool seemed to be growing brighter or was its tiredness, she couldn’t take her eyes from it and eventually curiosity took over and she crept towards it edge…

The water burst forward wrapping itself around Nereida in a tight embrace pulling her down. The icy water shocked her system, the surface pulling away from her as she wildly tried to pull herself to its mocking surface. Nereida grew tired her legs and arms filled with pain with ever pull and still the water holds, her lungs now burn with the need for air. The taste of salt water hits her tongue and burns her throat, as the aching body gives in her final thought

“I will do anything to end the suffering of the world”

“Good”

Air rushed into Nereida lungs like the waves that had pulled her in, short breaths burned like fire. She found herself on her hands and knees under the water but breathing like on land. The quivering water that surrounded her was hording its mighty power…. and it came again the voice.

“come my child there is much to discuss”

Sitting in a throne of gold was an older man but the body of an octopus.

“your name…. you’re the god of the sea…Aruna my dad told tales of you”

“smart man he was but to business”

“I’m yours now?”

“well child you don’t have to be, one click of my fingers and you can return to drowning”

Nereida full of concern was careful with her words

“what will you have me do?”

“nothing…. Well one day I will ask you to enter a body of water and well you will never return”

“death?”

The old man laughed

“dear child no… but to live here, with me”

Tear ran down Nereida’s cheeks

“how long do I have up there?” she pointed to the surface.

“I can’t be bargained with…oh you were… I heard your thoughts, and someone should wash your mouth out. But now you said you would do anything and here I am offering”

“I didn’t… not what I meant….  What do I get in return?”

The god stood up and bobbing along on his tentacles towards her he spoke in a tone that was as soothing as the surrounding waters tune

“ah well I will give you the power and knowledge you seek to end the suffering, I will guide and teach you and I will gift you this…”

He clicked his fingers and before her a great staff appeared.

“you will become great and do amazing things in this world, with the help of some soon to be friends”

“the dragonbourne?”

The god nodded, then he opened his muscular arms wide awaiting a response.

Nereida walked over examining the staff, as she grew closer, she felt a power ripple through her body and without thinking she reached out and grabbed it. Panic filled her “no” and she let it go

“well…you let me know what you decide I can and will wait for you”

The water grew dark and the only light came from the staff, it was only now that she realised that even though she was cold her clothing was dry.

“well Nereida you have got yourself into this perhaps with his knowledge and power you can get yourself out of it or the dragonbourne can”

She kicked a giant shell screaming on frustration as she grabbed the staff again, her skin connected and a surge of energy blue in color seeped into her skin and then bursting from her in the form of a giant octopus. She broke the surface surrounded by the creature, causing the bats to flee into the morning sun.

Once on the shore the blue octopus evaporated into her chest as Nereida fell to her hands and knees she gasped for air, sorrow taking hold. Nereida lay crying as the voice of Aruna filled the cavern once more

“head East child that is where you find the help you seek”

Anger and determination filled her soul, as she pulled herself together and once more began her ascent up the cliff in search of adventure.

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Don’t and do stop believing

Here it comes the science-y bit, hey don’t huff at me its all about understanding. Now dear adventurer belief is described as being;

“an acceptance that something exists or is true, especially one without proof” (think Santa)

Or

“trust, faith or confidence in someone or something”

oxford dictionary

Belief has two sides: one is the moral frame work, steering relationships, side two is manifestations of prejudice to convince you of your lack of worth.  Or if your looking for a movie reference that fits it is the edge of knife, stray just a little and it could lead to the destruction of all.

“be a fruitloop in a bowl of cheerios”

Belief is the most powerful force in the human nature and yet we as individuals let it be controlled by outside sources, because for what ever reason we follow the crowd.

“I AM AN INTROVERTED EXTROVERT”

Oh good, phew you are all still awake now…now…. now before you all go getting yourselves excited and stand outside my top secret lair in protest allow me to explain.

After months and months of feeling sorry for myself and taking on the monstrous task – to be explained in another story – id had enough of looking for support and took a chance of reaching out to the greatest bunch of people i know… my friends. During this conversation it was mentioned that they were headed to Arran (pictured above) for a day out. So like any self respecting parent i asked my parents permission to attend the event and promised not to be home late.

Things were going well… until my 5am wake up call followed by a yellow weather warning for wind and rain, and that’s when it happened. What if the ferry was cancelled? what if it broke down? what if….. what if….. what if…..

It is in this moment of panic that it became a choice, spend another night scrolling social media feeling a little sad that you missed out or what if, you dress appropriately and get on the damn ferry…. a few hours later as the sun started to break through the clouds and ferry bobbed up and down as it left port that a voice from the group voiced what was running through my head “are we sure this is a good idea?” Too late now….. a 50 minute ferry journey with me inwardly panicking that i’d lost that connection with these people would see us pull into the port.

The rule of the day seemed to have been that we should have probably ditched the itinerary and went for good old winging it… for it was then we would have to wait an extended period of time for a bus.

“ive never heard of waiting on a bus being referred to as an adventure”

But why not… if Mary Poppins can make tidying ones room exciting and fun why cant waiting on a bus, besides if it wasn’t for that wait we wouldn’t have seen in my opinion one of the greatest hats, the umbrella hat. Having never been to Arran before i was rather quiet taking in the beauty of this magical island, the lush green leaves looking almost leathery from the earlier rain fall. The rolling hills in the background and the warmth of the sun we thought we would never see reaching through the glass to warm my face. Snapping out of it to get off the bus at a shop with puffin ornaments in the window when i learn that they in fact have the little beauties right here on the island…. instant longing to go find them, you see dear reader it has long since been a dream of mine to see them in the flesh. Why you ask well just look at them

you are welcome.

It was on the bus back to port after some great food and a few light refreshments, a hilarious discussion about lack of organising and my insane ability to plan group activities flawlessly – is this my real talent….planning? – anyway there was also the murder of a few wasps…

“aw great that’s gawny attract more, you know because they send out a signal ta thur pals”

So here i am with an image of these wasps throwing on that yellow and black armour putting on wee helmets, punching their clenched fist into the opposite palm with a “right lads.. lets get them” I realise i have no belief…well i do it just on all the wrong things. That’s the thing about belief i guess in your lowest it can feed the wrong kind. I’ve spent months almost isolating myself because i believing one thing that somewhere in the pit of my consious i knew wasn’t true.

“why can’t you take a compliment”

The words coming out of your mouth are ones i don’t believe in that’s why but i’m going to change that… say thank you and then insult the man it’s what friends do. I started thinking and I’ve been doing it ever since, if i wasn’t good at something i wouldn’t have got this far and just because i’m not there yet doesn’t mean i never will be.

“I’m king of the world”

And he was… I mean why cant he be, why cant anyone all it takes is a little belief or faith, trust and a little bit pixie dust. We are all kings or queens (I will let you decide which) of our worlds we just have to believe it.

The journey home was something, we took to the upper level to enjoy a fish supper and a glorious sunset over Arran. Selfies galore, laughing like I’ve not done in so long and finally i looked over at one of the group leaning on the rail staring contently and longingly at the island we left. It is the look i imagine i will have one day when i finally live that lifelong dream of being New Zealand… but we were all snapped out of whatever bliss we were in by one comment which i shall spare you all from but let’s say the tone of the conversation changed and while some memories i will never forget this is definitely one i wish i could.

“he is a weirdo, but he’s our kind of weirdo”

“It is a wonder how we are awe pals really”

So there it is…. i am an introvert spending my time deep in my own thoughts, some times in a place called Alanadell with the elves especially one called Oron and a bronze dragon called Tibalt, sometimes even the fairies. One day i hope to share these guys with the world once i find my courage to take that step. I am also an extrovert, i need that social interaction i thrive on it…

Good friends…some banter and lots of laughing.

When you fear and doubt yourself long enough you will believe all the bad stuff you tell yourself, but please dear readers know this you are good enough, strong enough, smart enough, you have something to offer the world and if your currently in a state of not believing that try making it your mantra for a while… I know, i know it’s easy for people to say these things if they haven’t experienced it and i’m trying to believe it myself, hell i’m four weeks into a 52 week mindfulness challenge and i’m still on week one. (i know im doing ever so well)

“power of habit designs our destiny.”

So please stop believing the bad stuff and start believing the good, and if you have negative people in your life bringing you down and making it seem that life is some competition.. well go out there and prove them wrong show the world the weird, eccentric, geeky, smart and wonderful person that is you 😊

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Targa

Centuries ago dragons ruled the earth, powerful ruling, stealing and terrifying humans. Through the years the lands became barren and the gold and jewels soon dried up more than the land, the dragon became bored of the weakness of the world and slowly they took their leave. With this shift humans became bolder greedier and began to seek power of their own, in the years that followed it would come down to a battle between two armies, the first from the East by the name of Vitos greedy and determined to take over where the dragon had left off promising his followers a share if they helped him. The other a leader from the West by the name of Exos dreamed of a peaceful land like the days of old where land was plentiful and humans lived in harmony. On the eve of battle and sensing that he would be defeated Exos went a walk through the woods to the last great dragon cave, a pact was made: dragon strength and wisdom for the promise that he Exos would follow his heart’s desire and restore the lands upon winning this war. This pact came with a warning for once you are touched by a dragon it cannot be undone, future generations would be affected by the ruler’s choices and it could be a blessing or a curse in the bloodline. The dragon used its magic to craft a goblet of twisted tree roots and filled it with blood and as Exos drank it the dragon said

“chose your future wisely”

As the last drop hit, a raging fire became lit in his stomach, falling over clutching in pain, a scream of pain bursting from his jaws as Exos looked around wildly the dragon was gone. His muscles pulled and stretched and the fire spread, there is no one to hear those screams now.

The battle raged for almost a week many men lost their lives and more wished they had. The two leaders found themselves face to face and for hours they battled until Exos dealt the final blow of a sword to Vitos’s gut and it was over. In this brief moment the internal fire began to rage and the dragon words echoed I in his head, but the power was too great and greed consumed him. For many years the king ruled bleeding his people dry of their riches and becoming a tyrant. His bloodline spread throughout the world, however like all tyranny it does eventually end, a rebellion would see the king and all his descendants murdered accept one….

Targa stood at the top of the hill over looking the village, it was miserable place, surrounded by barren lands. Thin streams of smoke rising from the chimneys of little thatched roofs, the villagers trudging their way through the mud grunting acknowledgments at each other. The rain battered the ground so hard not even the worms would dare to break the surface, a pitiful place but the only one who would accept him.

He turned his head towards a grave marked only by draconic language which read Het nok unnamed gein (here lies the unnamed one.)

“I don’t know why you ever brought us here….” His voice was deep and old, and he spoke with bitterness through gritted teeth, placing his clawed hand upon the words, with a sigh he continued

“but I suppose I should be glad you did……. Mother”

As he wandered down the hill, the rain ran off his scales giving them the alluring look of pearls but falling to the ground like snow after grazing his cold scales. His dragon like feet sunk into the mud so deeply that if it was not for his size and great strength would have seen him stuck there. Other villages he entered has screamed and ran away from his unnatural appearance but not here, not Vallea, this was home.

Targa carried on through the village waving to the people as he past with a smile, stopping only to sooth a troubled horse and help free it from the mud he always had an ability with animals no one could really understand. He walked to the other side if the village, crossing a dangerously worn stone bridge caused by the raging rapid which passed underneath it directly from the mountains.

Targa began to sneak his way around the lifeless house, silently climbing the tree outside to effortlessly reach the upper floors. Maintaining this silence, he glanced in the window and sensing nothing he opened the window sneaking through. Choosing his steps carefully he made his way down the stairs missing a few that he knew creaked and pausing only at the bottom, sensing no presence he grinned striding across the kitchen and reached for the fresh bread laid on the table.

“phew you need a wash”

Saeclus was the oldest of the villagers and its advisor and leader of many years, the people trusted his judgment and not surprising due to the stories that had been passed down the generations. Now he lived in peace and age it seemed came a price of loosing his eye sight but as often happens his other senses heightened so much so that even Targa as cunning and stealthy as he was could sneak up on him. Targa had come to him as a baby in the arms of his mother fleeing her fate, she stumbled upon the village cold, hungry and scared. She knew that she could not outrun the hounds forever and so she begged Saeclus to take her son and hide him and in return she would run and never return. When the king’s men arrived in the village with the hounds they searched the houses but found nothing and they continued on down the road, but word spread that the girl was killed and fed to the hounds.

Saeclus raised Targa as his own and taught him farming, but also told him of his fate to better prepare him for the world that would fear and shun him.

Targa washed his giant hands returning to the table to tear at the bread like he hadn’t eaten in weeks.

“I suppose you will hunt again tonight?”

With a grunt Targa responded “bread and ale are no way to live old man”

Saeclus’s voice was filled with concern “but to do what you do, only draws attention to your existence”

Targa kissed the old man on the forehead causing him to drop his mug which was caught in the clawed hand returned to the old man.

“let them come”
“Targa… That power you have must be controlled, if not we don’t know what will happen or who you will become”

Targa at the door now wrapped a long clock around him, he opened the door being greeted by a now darkening pink sky and as he pulled the cloak to cover his face he said

“I won’t lose control”

For almost a week he hunted gather as much food as his arm could carry, enough to feed the village for a week. He whistled as he reached the crest of the hill looking at his mothers tree a pride filling him to be home…. Only the dull, muddy village now burned, hounds chased what was left of the villagers Targa dropped his haul and began to sneak his only thought now as a rage burned inside him…. Saeclus 

The house, his home was alight but he heard it faint and weak he heard the cries for help from upstairs. Targa leaped smashing through the window as a guard drove his blade deep into Saeclus, the rage building he grabbed the guard throwing him as his hound latched onto Targa’s arm its teeth barely scratching the skins surface but a yelp escaped it as its eyes locked with Targa’s and its coward for a moment before turning on it’s former master. Targa took Saeclus in his great arms and jumped out the window taking some of the drapes with him, as the screams of the guard faded, he realised it was too late and a darkness of despair consumed him as he realised that this was his fault. The hound was at his side its head hanging in morning as the fire raged engulfing the house Targa grew up in.

His eyes turned an ice blue as he wiped the tears from his face, a fire began to swirl in the pit of his stomach but no pain came with it, he stood up pulling his sword and his staff wrapping the torn drapes from under his foot and fastening it to his belt, he charged across the bridge the hound running with him at his heel and into the guards.

He went into a frenzy drawing the hounds to him with every meeting and they guided him to the guards where he showed no mercy. Until there was only one guard left, crawling backwards away from Targa fear in his eye the leader of these fowl creatures. He was pitiful and Targa was filled with an uncontrollable rage now reminding himself of his last promise.

“by the order of the king I sentence you to death”

Targa eyes whitened and he tilted his head at the guard as he continued

“your king demands your allegiance”

As Targa responded a blue fire ran down his arm, he found the words in draconic causing the guard to shake in fear.

“Zu’u lost nid jun uv mir “ (I have no king or allegiance)

With that the fire burst from him, leaving nothing, no guards, no hounds and the village was gone. The rain began to fall killing the last of the flames from Targa’s arm, he looked to the West and began walking.

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Geeks do run

Hope you are comfy, maybe have some snacks and a drink, I would recommend that toilet break but let’s be honest some of you lovely people could be sitting on the loo right now. (I’m not judging just remember to flush) Anyway this is a tale of a journey sadly not one that I wanted to take or anywhere exotic…. No this is a journey to a magical fun world of thoughts otherwise known as the inside of my head. Yip you see not too long ago I fell into this pit and felt I had no escape until I heard a speech about self- love, and I made a terrifying choice…. I chose to run.

Our story begins one sunny afternoon in a room of too many things, a room once filled with warmth, joy and laughter now empty. This room is usually so vibrant now dull and grey its gone, I sit on the floor holding back the sadness that threatens to consume me surrounded by a fortnight worth of washing. Mascara begins to run down my face and I realise I never took it off from work yesterday, the dark cloud begins to swirl in my head, because no one can put me down like I can and then I hear it Morgan Freeman’s voice is in there (I know it is glorious 😊 ) but it comes through loud and clear saying

“If you lay down people will step over, you. But if you keep scrambling, keep going someone will always, always give you a hand. But you got to keep dancing, keep moving your feet.”

The reflection in the TV is hideous, mascara now burns my already red eyes, you see it occurs to me that this is it, I can’t control what is happening around me how other people are treating me, but I can control how I react to it. So, make the choice, am I really going to sit here and be consumed by all of this or am I going to do something.

Breath….

Just breath, this isn’t torture…. No this is an act of self-love, look at you out of the house forget about catching the site of the walrus in the skin-tight running gear she is gone. FOCUS, its all about that mindfulness, the breathing, the feel of the air, the warmth of the sun, the silence. Find the beat with your feet, squirrel, seriously focus you haven’t even started running yet.

Silence…. Breathe it in and find your timing, now run… let the thoughts just melt away right now is what is important let it all go (great here comes Elsa) The sun streams through the trees bathing the woodland floor in its beauty, there is a smell of freshly fallen rain and the air is dense with its heat, it’s harder to focus I’m kind of hungry should have had elevenses. There they are the hobbits laughing away at my lack of food smoking there pipeweed, well laugh it up boys I hope you paid that troll, yip you are bonkers completely mad.

“We’re all mad here”

The curse of having a good imagination and seeing magic in the world because that came from the Hatter at his tea party and I want to stop and join mainly because of the pain throbbing away in my side and the burning now in my lungs. Seriously though slow down a little, despite what the shirt says they are not taking the Hobbits to Isengard and besides what would you do if they were, just a little fish in a big pond. I pass my favourite tree in my sadness its colour is dull, and the tree looks sad, I always tell my kids stories about the fairies and yet today I can’t see them have I lost my magic?

As my thoughts take over my pace slows down, I’m walking again, all the things that I’ve heard people say take over and begin to consume me. That irksome thing people always say about my only talent being in Psychology, or you can’t help others if you’re not ok in your own head.

Stop…. acknowledge it and stop it… Breathe…

There he is, the ring master laughing yelling Roll up, roll up come see the crazy jogging lady and then it happened. Now dear reader (if your still with me) it was at this moment that my sudden screaming outburst of frustration startled the birds, yip a humongous pheasant came right at me claws showing screaming at me- ok so it’s an exaggeration but you get the point- and I’m running again heart threatening to jump out my chest like Alien but I’m out of the woods, the air is clearer here the sun is warm. There are the calls of MUM over the ever so catchy Footloose but as I look for this interruption to my groove (yes, I am now less run more dad dancing, sure like you haven’t done it) my heart melts at the sight of the lambs.

Breathe……

“We tend to base our self-esteem on what other people think. Self-esteem is supposed to be about how we feel about ourselves.”

Eminem and Dr Dre come pounding through my earphones, my feet finding the ground with every beat heavily, too heavy in fact my body is tight with anger. Why am I allowing people who don’t know me make me feel so insignificant or that I have nothing to offer?

With the growing beat the negative thoughts begin to fade with a little pride breaking through like that sunshine breaking through those trees back there, I notice the hawk circling overhead and my heart jumps a little – it isn’t going to dive bomb you calm yourself- FOCUS on that pride why is it there. Well dear reader it is there because for nearly two years I have been on a journey, one that hasn’t been easy and at times I have crawled like Anakin Skywalker sliding into that lava in Star Wars.

“Without struggle there is no victory”

This journey has been bumpy, and I’ve taken many wrong turns along the way but there are achievements in there: two independent, strong willed, decision making young children to start with, mental health workshops which were successful.  Drawing, writing, dancing these are your talents, the Psychology part that is learned, it comes from a place of passion. I’ve lost my pace… I’m walking again, this is not a run I’d hoped for.

Breathe……. 

“You don’t grow in the good times when everything is going your way. You grow when there is pressure.”

I’m back in the trees they are different, warmer, richer. The deer are out today I stop to take in that scenic view, I strain my eyes enough they become unfocused and they are there the fairies… Yip I know a grown woman believing in fairies. However, let me give you food for thought how you can see and accept the beauty of the world or the inhabitants of it if you do not see a little magic along the way. Believe me I am not asking you to see fairies or other magical creatures just find something magical about where you are. A speech I heard once pops into my head “find your broom” ignore the little brooms with pales crossing in front of you right now Mickey Mouse will deal with them, I’m referring to that connection with other people. When it comes to making that choice of the journey its never easy and why would we want it to be, if it was easy would we grow?

“Ease is a greater threat to progress than hardship.”

Focus…. Breathe…. Now start running, find your centre and keep running no more distractions. As Mr Blue Sky kicks in, I’m smiling more than the Cheshire cat as the sun begins to burn my sweat covered face. There is a smell of damp moss, and wood in the air, matched with the tweeting of birds, I’m so into this tune I run straight past my favourite little water fall no more distractions to the gate’s riders of Rohan.

 Or not… the dreaded wall, the hardest part of this route, with air burning in my lungs I’m slowly giving up. What I need now is Chris Evans in his Captain America costume to say on your left and run past me, that would get me up the hill, or Robert Downey JR as ironman – who am I kidding at this point not even Howard the Duck can get me up this thing. Suddenly sadness hits and I’m frozen panting like scooby doo – only covered in sweat not drool – You see there is nothing like witnessing deforestation, a once warm full of life piece of land now lies dry and broken. Groot and Treebeard aren’t going to like this at all, now run. Here it comes the same spot different day and through the headphone comes Don’t fear the reaper (yes reader I am aware it is a strange choice of running music) this is it… the darkness is coming for me where are Dean and Sam Winchester in that amazing Impala car when I need them, will I at least hear a witty comment from Crowley before it happens?

Frantically I hit for a change in song, running lopsided past the house with the floating door, oh look the owner just to add to the embarrassment – Beam me up Scotty, seriously please they are looking at me funny.  Just keep running, you are on the home stretch now, not far pick up the pace you got this. Now all I need is Creed to run next to me with words of encouragement, there it is the gate to freedom cue the rocky music hands in the air for the finish. Woops I’m on the ground tears stream down my face from the laughter, the cold-water soaks through the running top but it’s done, and it worked.

I am so far away from the end of this journey – I feel it’s hardly began – but the main point of this, is to keep going, find something that takes away from the pain of what your going through believe me I have a story full of dead characters as a way of venting my frustrations, as well as a pile of art work doomed to never see the light of day but I survived and I will continue to. The reality for me is allowing people into my head through this silly tale is terrifying but what seems one way to me could be a lifeline or guide to someone else.

I did not come this far to just come this far.

Oh and yes dear reader I paid dearly for that little tumble 😊

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It’s all about me….

I am a writer with far too many ideas buzzing around in my head and needed an outlet hence the reason for this blog.

I have a keen interest in helping others and wanted to write something that not only helps me deal with my own well being but just maybe give other people something to help them, laugh at or relate to, with maybe a movie quote or two thrown in.

I cant promise a regular blog but i certainly hope to given the things that get cooked up in this delightful wonderland of imagination.

so enjoy it.