I know it’s been such a long time frankly I’m a little disappointed in myself for that (sorry for the self negative talk) so here is the thing I have been a little distracted trying to start a business đŽ. I know I’ve got all the emotions….
So in November I took a life coaching course which was amazing and really opened my eyes but I decided to wait until the new year and well here we are planning and organising everything to get stuck into a world of helping people.
So how can you help? I here you ask….
Alright let me get to it, so I’ve been doing some research and sadly what I discovered is that in my local area there is little support for mental health. Something I am looking to change, along side my business I would like to give back to my community and provide a sort of support group, hopefully offering ways to improve mental health or ways to support someone with mental health. Where I need help is if you were looking to attend something like that what would draw you to it?
What could I maybe put in place that would make you think you know what I’m going to go tonight?
The aim is to get people talking about mental health and support each other or find the support they need.
I know you guys are from all over the world but that’s the beauty of this platform it’s a chance to embrace another culture đ. Also you dont need to have bad mental health to come along.
Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated and as always thanks for the support đ
Well my wonderful reader I can only apologise for my lack of content it has been a busy few weeks and I have a feeling this year is going to be even busier.
I just cant let this year end without saying a huge happy new year and decade đ this has been a hard year but I’ve made it and so have you.
Now I just need to time manage and make this more of a thing but I’m not going to do the whole new year new me thing because i kinda like me as i am so I’m just going to breathe and welcome whatever joy comes my way i just hope some you join me along the way and thank you for being part of this amazing journey.
It is that time of year, it just kind of snuck on me I donât know about any of you out there. For weeks now I have listened to every Christmas song I can, I’ve taken my kids to Christmas markets and talked of elves, Santa and the North Pole generally getting excited about the whole season but there is that darker side to the season that we donât really talk about and it happens to a lot more people than we would know. Just the other day I was speaking to someone about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and the effects that it can have on an individual and how un-Christmassy they were feeling because of it and I got to thinking.
Yes, I love the season and yes, I get into it but let’s be honest it stresses us out, have I bought the kids enough? Will my partner like this? How will I afford that? I often find myself scrolling through my social media pages thinking that Iâm doing something wrong and how can they possibly be affording that when I work so hard and know that I couldnât (be honest we have all done it) in these moments I have to stop and reflect and remember life is not a competition and then I ask myself what is more important to me. This time of year also brings the pressure of this attitude that we are all happy all the time, because tis the seasonâŚâŚ the harsh reality is that 1 in 4 adults are effected by a mental health problem and this time of year can prove to be the hardest.
With all the festivities going on around it is easy for someone suffering with a mental health problem to feel disconnected from the joy and warmth â an individual can be left feeling like they are Scrooge left out in the cold looking in the window of the Cratchit family and the joy they have unable to take part â This societal expectation can increase the pressure on someone who has a mental health problem, and in many cases heighten the negative thoughts and feelings. So how do we combat these, well for me I use these techniques and like puppies they are not just for Christmas.
Firstly i acknowledge that all my thoughts are real⌅ yip 100% real and unique as a Christmas snowflake (see what I did there). The thoughts are real so say hi to them, next ask yourself are they factual, the mind is a wonderful thing and boy is it powerful, so is the thought factual? If the answer is yes and you can prove that it is then by all means carry on my wayward son, if the thought is not go ahead and shout STOP at it.
Next I take time out, this one I stumbled upon at a really bad time and it turned out to be what I needed but it comes in many forms at that time it was a weekend away but as I look back I realise that it included time away from social media and staying in when I was supposed to go out. Now I find myself taking 10 minutes out of my work day just to breathe and recharge.
Sleep â at this time of year late night prep and parties can steal our sleep from us and it is important to rest.
Exercise â I know at this time of year it is the last thing on most people’s mind but think of the endorphins you know the happy chemical. I know⌠I know but what if you took a little walk like walk for 15 minutes then turn back there 30-minute walk barely a sweat.
Relax â I know I laughed too, but breathing exercises, yoga or my new go to meditation. Yip recently I have zoned out so many times and it has been blissful.
Step away â like I said previously I have in the past taken a break from Social Media and it was good for the soul, I’m saying it is an excuse to avoid things but if mentally you are not feeling up to it then donât force it. I have in the past avoided social events and in the end felt worse so now I fight the anxiety and go or invite people to the house because let’s remember the thoughts are real but not always factual.
It really is the most wonderful time of the year and it is sometimes lost because of the gifts but for me this time of year is about being together, for someone with a mental health problem that is one of the hardest parts but you my lovely people can make it easier, yip the wonder person that is you and I’m drawing on what I needed and wanted when I was at my worst.
Talk â Let someone know you are there for them and then leave it. I know this might seem harsh but daily reminders of I’m here if you want to talk really are stressful. Why? Well for me I didnât always have the answers why I feel the way I do and the fact I am unable to explain it adds to the pressure. I am not saying donât speak to the person far from it they need the conversation so be there even if you only talk of the weather.
Listen â try not to judge them on how they feel or think remember 100% real.
Spend time with them â meet up for a coffee, pop round to their house even for 5 minutes it can change the whole day for someone.
Donât pressure them â so they donât want to go on a night out, thatâs ok you know and forcing them to go won’t make them feel good.
Donât draw attention to them – one important thing to remember is that alcohol can heighten emotions and if your feeling low imagine the effects it will have maybe not that night but the next day when it wears off. So, if someone is not drinking keep it in mind and donât single them out adding to the pressure just be happy, they made it.
Encourage them to take the time out â Not avoid, but step back and gather their thoughts and enable them to come back at it.
Let me leave you with this thought in the hope that you carry it and you smile just a little:
You are strong, passionate, courageous, more than capable and as unique as a Christmas snowflake and you know whatâŚ. That is just imperfectly perfect the way we should be, so be you send your energy into the world because it is amazing.
Sending you love and joy while wishing you all a Very Merry Christmas. Â
Lorcan sat in the moonlight tending to Nereida, he hummed a light tune as he did. The half elf lost her strength upon entering the house and passed out, since then the halfling had not left her side tending to her wounds and speaking words of healing but nothing had worked.
The rest of the group sat at the kitchen table a dispute had begun, the dragonborn Targa released cold air into the room making them stop arguing.
âI think that we can all agree that the king must be stopped, but the means of doing so are unclearâ his voice was calm but commanding.
âwellâŚ. What would you suggest, my people live in the mountains and would be willing to helpâ said Galurak
âwould they reallyâŚ. your people are you sure of that?â said Nadora
âyes, they wouldâ
âif I remember the stories half orcs are outcasts so really do you even have people?â asked Aidene
âHEY, what would you know huh Galurak has people and if he could just explain they would helpâ shouted Ravana
âenough⌠all of you, regardless of the aid we may receive marching to the castle and kicking down the door doesnât seem the right courseâ said Targa
âwe know how to sneak into the castle as we have told you beforeâ said Nadora
âAh, spies in the camp ehâ said Ravana
âPlease, we hate the king just as much as you lotâ said Aidene
âENOUGHâ
âthere is another wayâŚ.â The weak voice of Nereida travelled around the room
âI tried to keep her in bedâŚ. erm I mean stop her coming in hereâ
The twins sniggered at the halfling faltering over his words as he scowled at them.
Targa shook his great head standing and gesturing for her to have a seat âplease explainâ
âthere is a witch of old who may have the answers we seek; she lives in the mountains to the Northâ
âwitchesâŚ. That is what we have come toâ said Ravana
âthe king has magic we donât know, so we need magic of equal measureâ continued Nereida
âhow do you know about this witch?â asked Galurak
âIâŚ. I had a visionâ
âa vision? When? How?â Ravana was concerned
âI canât really explain it, but there is a power within me I never asked for and now I get these stupid visionsâ
âthen how do we know we can trust you, for all we know you are leading us to our deathsâ said Aidene.
âthen perhaps we should separateâ replied Targa
âTarga, you canât be seriousâ Nadora looked confused
âthe girl is right we need an old magic and what is the harm in trying itâ
âdeath⌠death is the harmâ
âI do not fear death little oneâ
âhate to interrupt, but this little humble abode of mine disappears in a few hours and we need a plan and rest before thenâ interrupted Lorcan
âwell can it travel to the Northâ asked Ravana, her words caused Nereida to smile
âcome on now lass⌠it aint a magic carpet you knowâŚâŚ. Although maybeâŚ. nahâ
âwhat?â
âwell⌠I could maybe make us flyâŚ. Or is it float?â
âLorcan what do you meanâ
âclouds, I could turn us to clouds and we could float there, Oooo Targa you would be a little snow cloudâ the halfling grinned but dropped his gaze quickly âwhich is not important at allâ
The dragon born smiled âwell it would be somethingâ
âwell how long will that take?â
âa few hours for the spell to work if I start now and letâs say a day to float North⌠id say pack wisely when we get there, I will need my rest so no nice housey houseâ
Suddenly a great banging could be heard echoing from the front door, shaking the foundations.
âit would appear we have visitorsâ
Just then a spirit appeared in front of Lorcan âsire a large group at the door wishing to enterâ
âshow me pleaseâ
An image appeared in the spirits stomach, showing a group of six werewolves banging at the door.
âah yes, unwelcome guests see to it that they leave will youâ
The spirits eyes turned crimson and the light within it grew to a dark grey âas you wish my masterâ he let out a wail and disappeared, from the sounds in the hall he was not alone.
ânow then to bed with you allâ
âand we are not going to talk about what just happened?â asked Nadora
âwe can but that will make this longer and by the time the house disappears I would like to be a cloud and float away you know just in case the puppies are still outsideâ
One by one the group left the halfling some muttering in disapproval of the plan to Targa, until only Nereida was left Lorcan was startled when he noticed her.
âhmm⌠well…erm helloâ
Her face was a little sad âLorcan, why do the twins make fun of you sometimes when you speak to me?â
âoh well⌠you seeâŚ. Iâm a bard and to lose my words is kind of funny I supposeâ
âdoes it happen often?â
âno⌠no its rather new for me, I could talk the legs off a donkey most daysâ
âthen why?â Nereida stifled a laugh
âwell itâs like this I âŚâŚ. Erm well that is to sayâŚ. ah heck I like youâ the halfling shuffled his feet daring not to look at her.
Nereida walked over kissing the halfling on the forehead âI like you to, now to work and if you donât mind, I would like to sit with youâ
The halflings face was pink and he could only nod, causing Nereida to giggle.
I am sorry dear readers this weekend has been one of growth where I completed my life coach practitioners course and I’ve had no time to write anything but I have this new feeling of excitement for what’s to come next. So while I’m sorry for not delivering this week I’m not sorry for making time to grow and develop into this amazing adventure đ
I recently gathered my friends together for a night of fun and laughter, terrifying as it might have been, but I missed them all. It was during this time I got speaking to one of my friends who had no idea what was going on because like a lot of people I just didnât speak about it, we got to speaking about how it affects so many people and you would never know. Then we started talking about anxietyâŚ. Something that everyone goes through daily but for some people it can have devastating effects, and there is a lack of understanding of it with people wanting to push someone into things or telling them to just get on with it making anyone with anxiety feel worse and unimportant. So todayâs blog is about a day with some help I stepped out of my comfort zone and shows the internal dialogue that can stop me going out with friends, cause me to be snippy and argumentative and even stop me from progressing but dear readers it is not the end I have researched and tried many methods and so long as no one pushes me I find my own way of getting there. There is a light at the end of the dark and twisty tunnel but I will get there one day.
The sun was warm, but I couldnât feel it, the stupid ringing
of the alarm shocked my mind into consciousness after being asleep for only a
few hours earlier. Iâve been awake for a few hours and already mind has thought
of over a million things for the day. What if I just pull the cover me again
and just ignore the next alarm why do I need to prove anything to myself I
donât.
Ahhhh enough pleaseâŚ. breathe
Right on que the alarm, ok lets do this, you booked it for a
reason and you paid for it to make sure you went⌠so get yourself up and have
breakfast, get everyone out the door and then you stroll down and get the
train. Simple rightâŚ.
The steam rises from the cup as a million thoughts skip
through my head, some narrowly missing each other while others have a head on
collision spiralling out of controlâŚ. Iâm going to be late.
I quicken my pace, but I should be running, the kids play
joyously as they wait on the bus to school, Iâm never going to make the train
but at least I triedâŚ. A gathering of unhappy commuters tells me the train is
late and my heart sinks a little.
BreatheâŚ.
Think of all times you have been through this when meeting
with your friends it always works out in the end so just take it all in. you
know I think my brain actually tried to stop me leaving the house like it
literally thought of every reason not to but you have and look at that view
this morning, look at the dogs playing on the beach it was worth it.
But you wonât know anyone here, they will judge you, your opinion
doesnât matter, and it never doesâŚ
BreatheâŚ.
Why are you doing this just go home
BreatheâŚâŚ STOP
âhey, thought what will you do for me today?â
Silence blissful silence, my feet start walking again the warm
sun breaks through the cold autumn air, its early and there is no one around. The
air smells of saltwater and the annoying noise of seagulls fills the airâŚ. No, they
are not going to swoop down and peck your eyes out⌠quite sure but speed up a
little just in case.
There it is⌠the place
Iâm meant to be
There is no one here, you came you tried, and you can go
home now
âHi, are you here for the mental health mind thing?â
Darn it shhhh you âyes I amâ
I smile a small victory over my mind too bad anxiety your
out of luckâŚ. But oh, gods your about to walk into a room of strangers
Hahaha you should have listened, its not too late to walk
out you knowâŚ. no, wait what are you doing donât you open that door.
âHi how are youâ
Ok just need to keep this momentum going, youâre here, safe
and this is going to be worth it. Ahh but remember what that person said you canât
help anyone if you have mental health problems yourself.
âseriously, what are you going to do for me today? Nothing thatâs
what I thought now I am here to challenge myself, empower myself, learn and
well just all round enjoy myself so if you donât mind just sshhhhâ
Face palmâŚ. Introduction time great I have nothing, youâre
not as inspiring as these other people.
STOPâŚ. BREATHEâŚ. you havenât done anything inspiring yet
remember the power of yet, think of all the reasons you want this knowledge, remember
that the reason you are doing this is because every day you conquer the fight
that goes on and you CAN help other people do it too.
Well dear readers I wonât bore you anymore but after two
days I completed a mental health first aid course and got my certificate GO ME.
The biggest part for me was that it was something I accomplished for myself and
no one pushed me into it (which heightens those feelings). I took myself out of
my comfort zone and came out a little stronger for it, I am now ready for the
next challenge.
The dwarf lay on the cold damp floor, ringing filled her
ears as through blurry eyes she looked for the source of the calling. The taste
of iron filled her mouth and a wet trickle made its way down from her forehead,
a shadow lingered over a body lying near water. Ravana called out the creature
turning sharply and began lurking towards the dwarf, she pulled herself
backwards towards the warmth of the fire shaking her head to try and clear it.
âGalurakâŚ. A little help hereâ
âbe there in a second Iâm a bit busy dollâ
âNereida⌠help meâŚ. Nereida??â
At the waterâs edge the half elf Nereida stirred at the
sound of her name as a voice filled her head,
âgo to the water childâŚquickly I can save youâ
She pulled herself too far and hard landing directly into
the water, the ice cold seeping through her clothes, water rushing into her
mouth filling her lungs and just as she was about to go unconscious her eyes
flicked open her feet finding the bed and kicking off.
A groan of pain caused Ravana to take her eyes off her stalker
to see Galurak laying on the floor still, as she tried to get up to crawl to him,
she felt sharp claws dig into her ankle. With her free leg she kicked the
creatures face causing it to yelp her sudden freedom caused her to throw
herself to her feet and attempt to get to the half orcâŚ. But the creature
snarled lunging at her once more digging its claws into her ankle.
âlet her goâ Nereida stood her eyes white and her voice was
different, commanding however the creature was not alone and a third one pounced
on her causing them to roll away.
The creature tightened its grip on the ankle of Ravana, and
she screamed in pain unable to free herself from it claws causing more damage.
It pulled her closer, and for the first time Ravana was able to see the snarling
grey matted fur, the sharp teeth shining behind the putrid smell of rotten meat
as the creatureâs saliva dripped from it chin. She swung her arm her fist
connecting with its muzzle, it yelped but grabbed her arm pulling her in. The
dwarf helpless closed her eyes tears running down her face, she cried out for
help and tried to pull away but it was no use this was the end⌠the air grew
colder, the creature paused its hot breathe now visible, it growled and digging
its claws into the dwarves shoulder she closed her eyesâŚ. The creature yelped
and its grip loosened on Ravana, she pulled away looking at the creature held
in place by a translucent shimmering hand.
âthat ought to hold, ya daft muttâ
Ravana turned wincing in pain to see a halfling coming
towards her, shock across her face as he stooped next to her
âare you alright lass?â
âwho are you?â
ânot the time⌠can you walk?â
Behind the halfling another creature growled, they both
turned worried looks on their faces, as a freezing wind howled past and from the
cold mist jumped a being covered in white scales swinging his sword into the
creatures neck sending its head rolling down the hill, his great head swung
round as he called over his shoulderâŚ
âhelp the half elf âŚ. Iâve got the orcâ
A whistle of arrows flew past Ravanaâs ears towards Nereida
who was holding the creature and was causing slight damage, an arrow landed in
the creatures shoulder it turned growling as a female jumped from the rocks
driving a dagger into its shoulder. The creature howled in pain and hitting her
off, Nereida joined the fight working together they delivered blow after blow.
The white dragonborn ran toward the half orc Galurak, the
creature noticed him and ran calling for the others to retreat, with a flash of
light the hand was broken, and the creatures ran back to bridge over the river.
âThe river can make you strong, go to itâ said the voice inside
Nereidaâs head.
The half elf staggered into the river, arrows once again
sailing through the air towards the creatures as they began to cross the bridge.
They faltered the water had risen shaking the bridge.
ânot so fast beastsâ Nereida raised her hand, as she did a
wave rose and headed towards the bridge with speed. The shaking bridge had kept
the creatures from crossing, as the wave neared the bridge a great form rose
from the water in the shape of a bearded man. Its great hands slid under it
breaking the stilts it was laid upon and lifted the bridge looking at the
cowering creatures and with a smile he ate them, the form disappeared back into
the river and it became still again. Nereida waded from the water, from her
side Ravana heard the strangers voice.
âthatâs my kind of womanâŚâ as he watched Nereida in awe she
fell to her knees seaweed spewing from her mouth, his face screwed up âwellâŚ. The
stranger the better I say⌠now missy lets see if we can get you on your feet.â
âwho are you?â
âLORCANâŚ. Are you alright?â cried the dragonborn
âIâm him lass LorcanâŚ. yeah Targa Iâm just fantastic but the
girl is pretty hurtâ
âNadoraâŚ. Aidene are you alright?â called the dragonborn
towards two female figures now helping Nereida up.
âsure⌠just helping this one upâ said Nadora
The dragonborn looked down at the half orc his great face
warm âcan you walk my friendâ
âsure⌠well maybeâ
âIâm Targa by the wayâ said the dragonborn holding out his
giant clawed hand.
âGalurakâ he replied wincing as he got to his feetâŚ. âwhere
did you come from?â
âall in good time, right now we need to find somewhere safe,
three werewolves are a small numberâ
âwerewolves? oh, gods will we become one?â
âeasy I think you were merely lunch for themâ
The two great figures slowly headed towards the dwarf and halfling
who was tending to her wounds
âfine mess of an ankle youâve got here, but nothing we can
get fixed up for yaâ
The halfling fixed his hair as he noticed Nereida headed
towards them, he became frustrated with the top which has a few strands
refusing to stay down, he blushed, and his words fumbled.
âalrightâŚ. Sheâs alright I meanâŚ. Erm nice to meet you Iâm
LorcanâŚ. just helping thatâs all amazing thing you did thereâŚ. erm you alright
now?â
âoh, my Nadora have you ever seen such a thing?â said Aidene
âwhatâs that?â said Nadora
âa bard lost for wordsâ replied Aidene
âoh, shut up you too or you can sleep here tonightâ
âwe are only teasingâ they both responded
Galurak ran towards the dwarf, he too was covered in blood,
but he embraced the dwarf âRavana⌠Iâm⌠Iâm sorry I just couldnâtâ
ânow donât you go worrying your think head about itâ she
replied.
âwell that is just a weird sight aint itâ said Lorcan
âyou get used to it eventuallyâ replied Nereida
The halfling jumped at her voice, his cheeks turning red
with embarrassment as the dragonborn stepped forward.
âmy name is Targa, this is Lorcan and those two are Nadora and
Aidene⌠we donât have much time but if you like we can offer you shelterâŚâ
âhey big guy⌠I believe it is my house and only I can invite
peopleâ Lorcanâs eyes met Nereidaâs âwould you like to stay with me tonightâŚ.â He
turned pink and panic set in as his words fumbled âerm all of you, I offer you
a meal and shelterâŚ. maybe some medical aid⌠oh shut up you twoâ
Nadora and Aidene were now giggling at the halfling.
It was Galurak who answered âI think it best at least for
tonight and we thank you LorcanâŚ. My name is Galurak, this is my girlfriend Ravana
and that is Nereida.
The half elf was spitting as she waved âhi⌠stupid saltwaterâ
Nadora looked confusedâŚ. âsaltwaterâŚ. that is a freshwater
stream thoughâ
âhey, I never asked for this any of itâ
âright letâs go shall we⌠you their big fella erm Galurak
mind carrying your lady and letâs goâ said Lorcan
Galurak was unable to lift the dwarf and so Targa did it closely
followed by the half orc, the lumbered after the halfling to the edge of the
woods just to where the bridge had been. Lorcan raised his hands âeldamoâ
âisnât that gnomish?â said Nereida
âItâs all I know Iâm afraidâ Lorcan smiled before
disappearing through the doorway of light closely followed by Targa and the
rest of the group.
âlet the birds sing hmmm mmm hmmm, I have forgotten the
words dilly dally? Hmm thatâs not rightâ
Nereida was startled awake by a strange voice, she found
herself in a room with stone walls on a bed of sheepskin and blankets.
âoh, for the love ofâŚ. will you tweet somewhere else youâre
driving me insaneâ
In a panic she looked around for her belongings and her foot
touched the cold stone floor she winced gasping in air. The stranger appeared
in a doorway, she was half of Nereidaâs height, her hair red and wild.
âah, about time you were awake I was thinking we would have
to feed you to the wolvesâŚ. Geez girl laugh Iâm joking the healing light would
punish me for that.â
Nereida blinked in the false light
âwhoâŚ. WhereâŚ. What?â
âaahhhhh, I donât have time for this girlie⌠Look you were
wandering around the wilderness barely alive I might add, I followed you and
found you collapsed and well it is my duty as a follower of the healing light
that I help those in need.â
âthe healing what?â
âlight, geez try to keep up, anyway you are in the great dwarven city of Bogam welcome and all that and you can stay here for as long as you like again your welcomeâ
âdwarven city? Who are you?â
âoh well that was rude of meâŚ. My name is Ravanaâ
âwhy havenât you all been killed by Ryker he hates all
beings that are differentâ
The dwarf grew quiet, âwell that is not a story I wish to
discuss at this time, but he is an evil man if that is what he is⌠you should
get more restâ
Ravana bowed to leave causing Nereida to panic âplease I
fear I have rested enough, and I have an important missionâ
âoh yeah the DragonbornâŚ.â
âhow did you know that?â Nereida suddenly grew suspicious of
the stranger
âcould you relax please⌠you talk a lot in your sleep, and I
thought you a little mad, but I am assured that the man in the lake is in fact
a deityâ
âA deity? How can you be sure?â
âwell the healing light never lies, and she is my deity of
choice even though she came to meâ
âcame to you in what way?â
âyou are inquisitive arenât you, again missy it is not the
time for such chat, but if you insist on being up and awake letâs get you some
food.â
The dwarf stomped over and with her strong hands caught
Nereidaâs arm as she stumbled to her feet suddenly week, she looked worried at
the dwarf who smiled back at her, the dwarves face was softened and warm now.
Looking at her now Nereida wondered how she could breathe because of the necklace she wore, and what kind of life
did she have with the scars on her face. They walked down a dimly lit hallway
pasted several grumpy looking dwarves who either mumbled about digging deeper
or grunted an acknowledgment as they passed them. Suddenly they walked through a great archway
and they were faced with a great cavern, staircases were intricately laid
throughout and lanterns lit the vast open space. Above her head Nereida could
make out moving shapes but it was unclear what it was, and she dared not dwell
on it.
âI know it doesnât look like much, but it is homeâ Ravanaâs
face was filled with pride.
âhow⌠how far unground are we?â
âfar enough that the kingâs men wonât find us, the way we
like it now come on get those legs workingâ
âare you always this bossy?â
The dwarf laughed and pulled her onwards, until they reached
the kitchen where she placed Nereida in a chair and made her eat.
âwhen you are ready, I can help you out of the city and
point you in the direction of the one you seek.â
âand how exactly do you know where he is?â
âdivine intervention is all you need to know, now wander the
city if you like but I must go and see to the templeâ
With that the dwarf was gone, speeding down the corridors
driven by some unseen force. No eye contact was made with the residents of the
city something pulled her to the temple, she sighed as she crossed the thresh
hold. The temple was filled with so much light for an underground city and
there was life everywhere you turned.
âI have been expecting you childâŚâŚâ
The voice came from nowhere and everywhere, Ravana had heard
it many times and was familiar with it however it still caused her fright.
âhahaha every time Ravana and yet you enter and tend to my
temple every dayâ
âI just donât expect you to be here is allâŚ. What do you want
anyway?â
âcareful, I may have chosen you but there are always
punishments for our choices. If you must know Iâm here to send you on a quest
for me if you are truly loyal to meâ
âyou know I amâŚ. What is this quest?â
âNereida you will help herâŚ.â
âout of the city I know that my father already told me thatâ
âhmm no, you will go with her on this journeyâ
âme? why?â
âI hate evil child and there is a great one plaguing this
land and who better to rid the world of him than me and youâ
âI canât leave the cityâ
âyour father will be pleased, and you know this to be trueâŚ.
An adventure and quest laid out for you by your deity why wouldnât he beâ
With that she was gone leaving Ravana alone in the temple
âgreatâ she stomped out to her room mumbling as she walked. She slammed her
room door closed throwing herself onto her bed just as her father limped into
the room.
âdearest Ravana, what is wrong?â
The dwarf was old and worn from the many battles that he had
been part of over the centuries
âyou will be pleased to know that I have been chosen for a
quest fatherâ
âwhat wonderful news, you should leave immediately I will
have it arrangedâ
âdonât I get a say in this? What if I donât want to?â
âI thought you were strong in your faith and out deityâ
âI am but there are other ways to show it not stomping
through the wild looking for a dragonborn who is said to be a murderer because
some half elf just happens to get themselves into trouble.â
âremember your place here child, you will bring honour to us
once againâ
With that the old dwarf left the room and once more she was
alone. She lay looking at the ceiling the bats chirping outside she screamed as
it echoed around the cavern outside her window.
After several hours of sulking she pulled herself together changing into
travelling clothes, grabbing her hammer and headed to find Nereida who was now
playing hide and seek.
âwe have to go⌠well donât just stand there letâs get goingâ
âgoing where?â
âit seems that the higher powers wish me to go with youâ
Nereida hugged the dwarf lifting her from the ground in the
embrace.
âthat was embarrassing donât do it againâŚ. Now come onâ
They walked through the cavern to the cheers of the dwarves,
news had spread quickly of the quest and they headed to the gates, standing
with a foot on the wall a toothpick in his mouth stood a tall figure with
greenish skin. He squinted at them as they approached and when he spoke his
voice was deep.
âthought you could leave without saying goodbye did youâ
âdonât be stupid, I knew you would be hereâ said Ravana with
a wink
âso, this it then?â
The dwarf grabbed the tall figures shirt pulling him down
for a head butt
âget the bloody bags and letâs goâ she gave him a kiss as
his deep laugh filled the cavern.
âyes sirâ
âoh, and this is Nereida sheâs the reason for this little
adventure.â
Oh, hey there dear readers let me just stop my dancing
around and turn down the music inside my head,
Ahh thatâs better how are you all?
Me? Well I had quite the week, those swirling clouds made
threat of return this week with the wicked witch of the West flying around on
her broom, but here is the key I like Dorothy survived it đ
and here is the kicker you can too.
I attended a seminar a few weeks back and learned so much
from it and oh the thinking it was said at this event that one of the worst
things we can do when offering help to others is continue to repeat that we are
there is they need us⌠I know, I know we are only trying to help but hear me
out you see the speaker pointed out that we should say it and then leave it there
and not continue to say it which got me thinking about my own struggles and
there it was I am more receptive and open when Iâm not pushed into it and I hadnât
noticed before I myself will only ever offer my ear to someone once and then
not revisit it, when I asked the speaker about this they said my subconscious was
at work because I know what itâs like it stops me from putting others through itâŚ.
I am a superhero and I left the seminar completely inspired, so much so I
signed up for another course which Iâm due to take eeekk my anxiety is already
setting inâŚ. but because of that first course I am able to karate chop that
anxiety like Daniel the Karate Kid.
Youâre not good enoughâŚâŚ wax on blocked it
You canât do anything rightâŚâŚ. Wax off blocked it again
People donât really like youâŚ. wax on HA
You havenât achieved anythingâŚâŚ wax off HAHAHA
But every once in a while, you are sure to miss and it sadly
it can happen at the start of your week and lower your mood for the week.
I didnât even see it comingâŚ. I should have but I didnât the clouds were dark and swirling from that wind and there she was the wicked witch of the West with her negative wordsâŚ. and there it was the anger brewing inside like the dying star that created Thorâs hammerâŚ. Nonsense? The speaker now looks like Roz from monsters inc (if you donât know who that is geez please refer to exhibit A and watch the movie soon ok?)
Donât panic I didnât use fairy magic or witches brew or did I? haha no its only in my head and itâs a coping mechanism, but the encounter did cause me to look at the people around me a little different. You see the nonsense comment was about mental health I KNOWâŚ. But because I am becoming a master of my feelings, I remembered something I am a superhero and so are you.
Stick with me here it gets excitingâŚ. we are what we think
Itâs true, Iâve given mental health talks to a group of
strangers completely terrified the whole way through it, but I am an athlete I
donât look like oneâŚ. STOP see there was that negative thought creeping in so
let me give you a piece of advice on these
Close your eyes and imagine that your looking up into your
head aww look at all those pretty coloured orbs of memories (yes it is a movie
reference and its Inside out) keep looking for that little negative thought
thatâs bugging you scowl at it if you must, before the bad feelings for the
thought set in but in and say
Stop,
Again
Stop,
Really commit to it
STOP,
Internally scream
STOP,
Open your eyes take a deep breath and close then close your
eyes again and look for the thoughtâŚ. Hopefully youâve scared it away or at
least its volume is turned down a little.
Now where was IâŚ. oh yes athlete, so I have been reading a
whole lot and one thing that appears a lot is the visualisation techniqueâŚ. The
easiest explanation is see it, think it, believe it become it. One of the best
pieces of advice I heard before starting my talks was before you even start visualising
that you have already finished, and you did great⌠you see your entering into
the task already in a winning mindset đ
Anxiety has this horrible way of taking over our lives if we
let it, oh I canât go out with my friends they donât really like meâŚ. STOP, Iâm
not capable of doing a piece of work I donât think like themâŚ. STOP you are a superhero.
It is through my week of horrible encounters that I realised this, Iâm tired of
being told Iâm too sensitive when it comes to feelingsâŚ. Psst Iâm not, anxiety
can be crippling and it focuses too much on the future but it gives you a
little something in return⌠suffering from anxiety with your heightened emotional
state helps you pick up on atmospheres and Iâm not talking the little
protective layer around the earth. Iâm talking about when you walk into a room
and you sense there is something wrong just by the way someone looks or the
tone of their voice so I am what I think⌠rather and focus on the crippling
fear it gives me I think well if I can pick up on that when no one else does I must
be a super hero the trouble is when it starts to affect you, so lets try
another little technique I try.
Close your eyes and look for the thought, Ok next to your
thought put a dial next to itâŚâŚ ahh it is so loud does that say 10? Really focus on this turn down the volume 9,
breathe do it again 8, and again 7, once more 6, with feeling 5, oh getting
better 4, focus 3, almost there 2, breathe 1, and again mute it. Breathe in and
say it with me ah.
I havenât perfected these techniques yet, but I practice them every day and with all things practice makes perfect and I am all for building that emotional resilience tool kit and trying different methods and my journey is still in the early stages and on my tough days its like the yellow brick road is a treadmill and the emerald city is in the background and despite me running at full capacity -which isnât much by the wayâŚ.. oh, Iâm not being hard on myself its fact I havenât been running in a while- Iâm still not getting anywhere.  One day I will reach the top of that mountain and I can’t wait for the view from the top.
Happy Monday guys, remember the bad times are just moments they are not who you are and you will learn and grow because of them and if you need an ear well you know….
Lorcan stood both hands bracing himself on the door as he
panted, his mind raced with an internal battle she couldnât be here not now but
then he did owe her. The halfling cried out in frustration banging his fist on
the door, slowly he opened the door.
âNadora my dear how lovely to see you, but Iâm afraid now
isnât a good timeâ
âI donât really care if it is or not, we need shelterâ
âYou should try an innâ
âLorcanâŚ.â Nadora tried to enter the house but there was a
flash of light and she fell to the ground
âNadoraâ Aidene rushed to her side shaking her
âsheâs alright just knocked outâ
âwhat did you do to her trollâ
âhey there is no need for name callinâŚâŚ I told her it wasnât
a good time for visitorsâ
Aidene stood up her fists clenched as she walked towards the
halfling
âah now think about it, your sister wasnât invited in and
neither are youâ
âLorcan was it?â
âwell yeahâ said the halfling
âmy name is Aidene and Nadora is my sister, she saved me a
few days ago and brought me here for reasons I donât know but we need your
helpâŚâŚ. Pleaseâ
The halfling sighed puffing up his cheeks scanning the
horizon wildly
âaaahh, alright then come in before the kingâs men appear on
patrolâ he clicked his fingers as a slight shimmer filled the surrounding air pulsing
out towards Aidene and with a flash of pale silvery light, two men appeared
next to Nadora. They were dressed in black tuxedos and bowed to Aidene before
carefully lifting Nadora
âdonât worry Aidene⌠I just need a little help mi only small
after all.â
She gave a weak smile and followed them inside, Aidene
blinked her way into the well-lit corridor with wooden walls and the wooden
floor creaked beneath her feet. The hallway was covered in round doors, the
ceiling was unusually high for a halfling.
âsirâŚ. where should we put the lady?â
âah well there is a thoughtâ
âsurely you have a spare room hereâ
ânow I wasnât expecting visitors and when I created this house,
I didnât put any inâŚ. in any case best put her in my room I can give that up I
supposeâ
âthank youâ Aidene said with a curtsy
âwell follow me I suppose you are hungryâ he led her down
the winding corridors, until Aidene heard a voice calling
âI thought you didnât have visitors?â
âwell he is more a companion than visitor reallyâ
âalright just no more surprisesâ
As they entered through the round door at the end of the
hall, there was a blast of cold air and it took a minute for Aideneâs eyes to
adjust to the dull lighting. When they did, she noticed that there were more of
the tall silvery men in tuxedos bustling around with serving plates. Then
Aideneâs followed one of them to the source of the voice, sitting on the other
side of the room was a figure, their skin looked rough and whiter than the
springs snow drops. Aidene was frozen to the spot in shock as she gazed upon
his faceâŚ. the face of a dragon and yet his eyes held a softness to them, he
stood up his face stern.
âLorcan, how could you bring her here?â
âhuhâ the halfling was confused
âshe is the kingâs daughterâ
The halfling jumped back shocked âwait whatâ
âget away from herâ
âno pleaseâŚâŚ I can explainâ
âitâs true? That little rat I should kill her in her sleepâ
âIâm not asleep anymore Lorcanâ
The sound of Nadoraâs voice behind him caused the halfling
to scream out as he jumped forward.
âdonât bloody do thatâ
âa rat, am I? Letâs not forget that if it wasnât for me you
would have been in the belly of one long agoâ
The stranger had began walking towards Aidene his eyes
glowing a bright blue
ânot so fastâ Nadora steeped between him and her sister with
a knife drawn
âdonât think I wonât hurt youâ he paused for a moment taking
her in âyou are twins? Twice the satisfaction since I canât get your father
nowâ
âhe is not my father or hers, he is a disease on this worldâ
âwell at least we can agree on something but Iâm afraid you
could be telling me liesâ
He lifted his hand as the air grew colder around them
âhhh hmmm, may I remind you that violence is not permitted
and if you do, we could all be in troubleâŚ. Just once I wish I could use this
place for 48 hours and nothing bad happen. Look if you like why donât we sit
down and talk this through if tomorrow you still arenât convinced thenâŚ.â
The halfling made an explosion gesture with his hands before
sitting at the table as the servants brought the first course.
âI hope you all like rabbit stewâ
Aidene screwed her face in disgust
âlisten princess itâs all there is out here on short noticeâ
âwhat about deer they are plentiful at this time of yearâ
âwell you feel free to go catch some, in the meantime itâs
this or you go hungryâ
âthanksâ as she turned to sit down Nadora was already
stuffing the food down her throat without chewing.
âhmmmn nmmdph ggggddddâ
âsee, your sister likes itâ
âenough of this, you better get to explaining yourselvesâ
the figure leaned against the wall with his arms crossed scowling at the girls.
âitâs a little dry LorcanâŚ.. a little like the company you
keep, clearly hasnât been around females muchâ
The halfling snorted in laughter âhe hasnâŚ. that is very
rude of you dear and she didnât mean itâ
âwhat is your nameâ Aideneâs voice was shaky
âwhy donât you tell me what I want to know, and I will
decide if I am to give that information or notâ
âour parents were artist who travelled the lands painting
the world, around 25 years ago they got into a little trouble and a group of
travelling druids helped them eventually they were invited to live within their
communityâŚ. when we were young enough to be persuaded of other things the
druids had left the village and we were left behind, thatâs when the king came
looking for them only he found us⌠as I lay asleep in my bed they came, took my
sister and mother but not before killing my father, several hours later I awoke
to find him and since then I have grew in strength learning combat and the ways
of the wild. On the eve of my 16th birthday the druids came to me
and told me that my sister was alive enslaved by the king and that my mother
had fought back and lost her life for itâŚ. I knew I had to do something.
âNadoraâŚ. I am so sorryâ tears ran down Aideneâs cheeks
âit seems you have just as much reason for wanting the king
dead as I doâ
âgeez I donât think I have enough wine in the pantry to lift
the mood in this roomâ said Lorcan as he slowly chewed a piece of bread.
âwhat reason do you have for wishing itâ asked Nadora
The stranger opened his mouth to speak, but it was Aidene
who spoke first
âhe killed your mother and the man who care for you, then
you killed his menâ her eyes were wide as she spoke âI know who you areâŚâŚ
Targaâ
The dragonborn bowed his head to her
âI never really believed the stories they told of you; I
mean how could they be trueâ
âwait what stories?â Nadora was suddenly on edge
âwell I am a descendant of the old king cursed or blessed
with the power of the dragons, so you decide.â
âthey say he destroyed a whole village after the king killed
everyoneâ
âwell good for you I sayâ Nadora was smiling at him âthis
could be the start of a beautiful partnershipâ
âpartnership? Oh no he is not going near the city nope not a
chance⌠silly girlâ Lorcan became panicked
âLoran⌠donât you long to perform in front of people and not
be hunted for what you are?â Targa could be persuasive when he wanted to be
âyou are all crazyâŚ. But I could use some new material for
my actâ
âI am curious⌠how you met my sisterâ
âoh, that is a tale for another dayâ
âLorcanâŚ. you know none of us will sleep tonightâ said Targa
âLorcan is right its not the timeâ said Nadora
âthis must be goodâŚ. I think there was some sort of love
affair going onâ said Aidene
âppfft pleaseâ
âyeah sheâs not my typeâ
âhmmâ Aidene looked at him with a sly grin
âfineâŚâŚ a few years ago I was working a bar like I always
did when your sister who was under the influence of wine approached me and
kissedâŚ.â
âLORCAN, I swear you better tell the truth with thisâ
âtut, alright⌠fine⌠I was under the influence and I tried
to kiss her, only she punched me in the faceâ
Targa sniggered
âGee thanks pal, anyway nothing keeps this guy down and I
moved onto other ladies in the bar and you wouldnât believe it no luck with any
of them, they just didnât know what they were missingâŚâ
Nadora coughed and Lorcan scowled at her
âanyway, I kept at it, and just before closing time there
she was standing by herself by the bar, tall slender her body encased in the
most seductive dress imaginable her breastsâŚ.â
âLorcan⌠focus pleaseâ
âyes dear⌠anyway I knew a guy like me would never get a
girl like that, but nothing ventured nothing gained and at closing time she
asked me back to her place.â
âwhy do I get a bad feeling about this?â Targa was smirking
âbecause he is an idiotâ said Nadora
âalright Naddie you take it from here since you enjoy it soâ
She scowled âalright. I was in town on a hunt several
villagers had vanished over the course of a few months and they all had one
thing in common they all went to the same bar the night before they disappeared,
and the same female was described in each one. So, I tracked her down and I
watched her, but it was like she knew⌠until Lorcan, that night she took him
back to her house and he never left. The next morning, I sneaked into the house
and found this idiot in the basement chained up with two puncture wounds in his
neck. Yip she was a vampire and was keeping him alive to feed off for a while,
so I began to search the house and eventually I found her and drove a stake
through her and took Lorcan to safety. I never thought I would see him after that,
but I became his muse for a while providing him with stories, he could make
songs aboutâŚ.â
âuntil one day I woke up and she was gone from this house,
no note or explanation just gone and now she comes here saying I owe herâ
Lorcan retorted
âin a way you kind of do, she saved you and you used herâ
said Aidene
âhey, donât change the subjectâ
âI am sorry Lorcan dearâ
The halflings face grew red as he fidgeted
âwell⌠I suppose it is alrightâŚ. No harm done reallyâ
âwe should rest we can discuss more tomorrow what we plan to
doâ Targa said, and he left the room
âyes, well that is an ideaâŚ. Good night ladies Nadora you
know where the room is for you and your sisterâ when he was safely out of the
room, he slapped his face and muttered under his breathe
The many adventures of Ailey Bailey 